Blythe

Image credit: the_positiveway8

I absolutely love this sentiment. I understand the whole 'fake it til you make it' mindset but it doesn't work for me. I hate not being good at things, I am a bit of a perfectionist but I'm working on improving this. I recognise that I'm not perfect and I'm going to make mistakes, and mistakes are part of a learning process and I will learn and improve with each mistake I make.

And, somewhat amusingly, I made so many mistakes writing this post - first getting the image the right size, then linking to the creators instagram. I was getting very frustrated and almost gave up because it just wasn't working. But I perservered, succeeded and am feeling pretty pleased with myself to be quite honest!

One of the things I want to try and do in 2022 is get a regular routine of meditation - but in a way that works for me. It's definitely something that helps contain and calm the maelstrom in my brain, but it's really hard for me to find that peaceful space.

The first thing I find helps is that I have to remind myself that there's no wrong way to do it, that when I do it I find it relaxing and enjoyable. And like any other skill, the more I practice it the better I become at it. Even on the days when I don't feel like I've done it properly, it helps. Trying to rid myself of the 'should' is difficult

Getting comfortable is the most important step - it doesn't have to be sitting in lotus position, but that does work sometimes. And what worked yesterday, isn't necessarily going to work today. It's a case of finding the moment, finding the place, finding the position and getting comfortable. It can be laying on the floor, in bed, sitting in a chair, standing in the garden. There's times when I need to almost remind my body to slow down, I've been known to have a hot bath (and sometimes meditate in there because it's so nice). Just get comfortable. If I get relaxed enough to fall asleep while meditating, it's a bonus - I'm nearly always sleep-deprived so I need the sleep

Then, once I've got comfortable, it's about breathing. Slow, even breaths. Even if I don't start with them, as I relax and work on the breathing, I find them. And the more I breath, the more relaxed I get. It's like a chilling out positive response cycle. Sometimes music helps, the relax playlists on Spotify are great for regulating and soothing, I slow down in time with the music. There's days when that doesn't help and I need to move in order to find the right head space - headphones on, music on, and going for a walk, again it's something repetitive, regular and steady. Like, focusing on my feet hitting the ground and nothing else can start getting me in the right headspace too and my breathing matches my walking.

And, of course, my attention will wander away from just focusing on my breathing. That's inevitable, even for an NT person! It's more about recognising when the attention has wandered, noticing where my thoughts have gone but then bringing my attention back to my breath. Not chastising myself for my attention wandering is what I'm mostly working on now, not judging myself or obsessing over the places my mind goes - just accepting it and being kind to myself.

Once I'm finished meditating, I come back to myself, start noticing my surroundings and taking stock of how my body feels physically, and how my emotions feel.

I want to meditate more regularly because I do like how grounded it makes me feel. Even if it only lasts for a few minutes, I like it. So I want to do it more. I'm aiming for once a day and I'm going to start by figuring out where in my day it's going to fit. First try is going to be after work.

I had the most marvellous relaxing pamper afternoon today, and isn't that always just a marvellous way to spend a weekend?

I lit some calming scented candles in my bathroom, put some music on, filled the bath with hot water and bubbles and sank down with a good book. After I'd finished soaking, I treated myself to a nice body scrub, a clay face mask, and a mini facial massage then a deep conditioning hair mask. After I got out of the bath, I thoroughly moisturised from head to toe.

I feel so relaxed and chilled out right now and it's definitely been the right start to the year.

Tomorrow is my last day off of the festive break and I'm planning another slow lazy day because I deserve it after the craziness of the last 20 months or so. Sometimes going slow is just what the soul needs. Maybe a netflix and chill day, we'll see :)